My Dog Is Scared of Me: Reasons and 10 Easy Ways to Fix This

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

– There are different reasons why your dog is scared of you. It could be their past traumatic experiences, frequent accidents, they are shy, or you are scared too.

– If your dog is showing submissive behaviors—tails in-between legs, whale eyes, whining, and fawning, they could be afraid of you.

– You can avert this fearful behavior by positive reinforcement, making genuine connection, giving them space, and being patient with them.

– Do not force them or rush them into trusting you; the key here is doing everything slowly, but surely.

My dog is scared of me. What should I do?

If your newly adopted pup seems intimidated by your presence or your long-time furry pal suddenly starts slinking away when you're around, there's a reason behind that, and it's worth investigating.

When your dog is afraid of you, it's not only a devastating feeling. It also becomes increasingly difficult to train, groom, and feed them.

This article will discuss the common reasons your dog is scared of you and how you can fix it.

Why is My Dog Scared of Me? 5 Possible Causes

1. Your Dog is Shy

If your dog is adopted, it tends to be shy around new people as it becomes more used to the longer isolation in pet stores or shelters.

There, they were often housed in individual cages, which means they didn't get much socialization with other pets or people.

William E. Campbell, a dog behaviorist and author, said, “the term shy dog should be qualified by examination of the dog's actual behavior and those things that stimulate the shyness.”

Dogs that display submissive behavior may suffer from a punishment syndrome created by overly harsh treatment. Others may suffer from kennelosis or other improper socialization during early critical periods.

Kennelosis means their lack of interest in exploring their new environment.

If you make them comfortable in their new environment and give them enough time and space to adjust, they should be up and wagging their tails quickly.

If not, you may also consider behavioral training and socialization, especially if you have adopted an adult or older dog.

Sure, it's difficult to teach an old dog new tricks, so they say, but it's still totally possible!

2. Your Dog Was Exposed to Harsh Treatment and Training

Before you get them, it's possible that your dog was also a victim of harsh treatment by its previous owners.

Physical harm isn't the only harsh treatment they could be scared of. It can also be screaming or raising a voice at them.

The same is true for imposing aversive training on dogs.

Aversive training is a behavior therapy method that involves “adding something to decrease unwanted behavior” (a.k.a. Positive Punishment) and “removing something to increase wanted behavior” (a.k.a. Negative Reinforcement).

It often uses aversive tools like:

• Shaker cans
• Invisible fence collars
• Shock (Electric) Collars
• Citronella spray collars
• Prong and choke collars

However, the results show more harm than good in the long run.

According to this study, using these two methods at the same time can trigger aggression, fear, and anxiety in dogs in the long run.

What should I do then?

I have two words. Positive. Reinforcement. We'll discuss more of this in a bit.

If your pooch has had traumatic experiences due to harsh experiences in the past, they'll most likely distrust and fear you, too.

RELEVANT: 10 Things Dogs Are Scared of the Most

3. Accidents and Early-Life Trauma

Accidents can happen anytime.

No matter how cautious you are at home, there could be instances when you unintentionally inflict pain on your Fido.

The most common one is stepping on their paws and tails while they're asleep. I know because this also happens to me and my dog.

Shocking pain can trigger fear and anxiety, especially when it often happens.

Moreover, dogs develop anxiety due to early-life trauma, such as:

• Poor maternal care
• Lack of socialization

Similarly, dogs with adequate exercise regulate noise sensitivity better than canines with less physical activity.

RELEVANT: Best Age to Separate a Puppy from its Mother

4. Your Dog is Exposed to Aggressive Dogs

Generally, a dominance hierarchy is a vital component of animals for harmonious living and social organization.

Despite the canine species' high sociality, dominance can trigger anxiety in dogs at the lower hierarchy level.

In context, dominance in dogs is often established through fights where the winner becomes the leader and the losers become the subordinates.

Moreover, canines also recognize dominance through ritualized signals, as seen in the following:

• Body language
• Facial expressions

With this in mind, fights over dominance lead to injuries and trauma to your dogs.

What should I do if my dog meets an aggressive dog?

When outdoors, keeping your dogs at a distance and on a leash is vital.

As a rule, never force your dogs to meet another dog.

Let them take the lead, and take note of their body language.

Note: Neutered dogs can still show dominance and submissiveness at times.

They may growl, stare, and bark at or mount other dogs to exude confidence.

Meanwhile, submissive dogs tend to crouch or run away.

RELATED: TOP #69: How to Handle Aggressive Dogs

5. Fearful Owners

Do anxious dogs have anxious owners, too?

Well, as applied behavioral ethologist and author Kim Brophey said,

Dogs belonging to high-stress/anxiety clients are often higher than average in their stress levels and exhibit more anxiety or hyperarousal.

Also, according to this study, dogs adapt to their owner's personality, and they tend to be the following:

• Shy
• Tense
• Emotionally unstable
• More underdisciplined

You might wonder why this phenomenon is happening today.

Social psychologists say people choose friends and romantic partners based on trait similarities.

So, fearful dog owners often project their anxiety onto their innocent furry companions.

While pets help relieve stress from their owners, it's vital to note that they're not just emotional sponges.

In a positive light, you can help prevent anxiety in your dogs by engaging in outdoor activities or creating positive vibes at home.

INTERESTING: 25 Creative Dog Parks To Visit In America

Ways to Know if Your Dog is Scared of You

Dogs show their emotions in a lot of different ways.

So, for your reference, here are some things to look out for when your dog is scared of you: 

• Biting
• Pacing
• Whining
• Clinginess
• Licking its lips
• Flattened ears
• Excessive yawning
• Tail between its legs
• Persistent scratching
• Submissive urination
• Not accepting treats
• No eye contact with you
• Leaving the room when you enter
• Raised hair on the back of its neck
• Tracking your movements carefully 

Interestingly, a dog that shows excessive affection to its owner can also be a sign of fear. This is called fawning.

Fawning is a dog's attempt to appease a perceived threat, which is you, their owner, who they're afraid of.

They may expose their belly while making high-pitched whining to elicit a caretaking response.

They may also paw or lick your hands while keeping their tail tucked low between their legs and ears in a display of anxiety.

Familiarize yourself with some things dogs are most likely to fear.

Although every canine is different, some of the most common phobias are: 

• Children
• Car rides
• Loud noises
• Other animals
• Separation from their humans

Even when you think you've been doing everything right, some dogs may still fear you for various reasons.

Next, we'll discuss what you can do to fix this problem.

My Dog Is Scared of Me: What You Can Do About It

1. Be Patient

Every dog is different, and like humans, it will adapt to its environment and learn at its own pace.

This could take days, weeks, or months of consistent effort and training, depending on the dog's personality and the reason for their fear.

Most dogs will learn to trust their owner(s) and other humans with time and effort.

But you must be patient enough and not force them to be angry with your dog during this process.

2. Let the Dog Be

Some dogs need space and time alone, with less attention and interaction, to become comfortable.

Coming on too strong at your dog can also intimidate them.

Sometimes, the best way to gain a dog’s trust is to let them decide when to interact with you.

Let the frightened pup come to you for attention instead of going to them.

INTERESTING: How Owners Lose Their Dogs’ Trust

3. Follow a Predictable and Reliable Schedule

When your dog is frightened and stressed, the hormone cortisol pumps through its body, making matters worse.

One way to help regulate their fear and stress hormones is by creating and following a consistent routine like the following:

• Socialization
• Positive reinforcements
• Regular feeding schedule
• Playtime and outdoor walks

Repeated actions will earn your dog's trust when done calmly and non-aggressively.

4. Make a Genuine Connection with the Dog

Most dogs enjoy petting and belly rubs from you.

Unfortunately, some dogs have been physically abused, and they perceive that human touch is a bad and scary thing.

If this is the case with your dog, you’ll have to get creative and find another way to connect with it.

Giving dog treats during training sessions when they do what is asked of them is one of the many ways to connect with your dog.

When you cannot physically touch the dog while praising them, use a positive and soothing tone to tell the dog they're doing great.

Tip: Incorporate a clicker into your training sessions.

When your pup follows your command, make the clicker sound and give their favorite treats immediately.

This lets them associate with a positive experience and will likely repeat the same cue in the future.

RELATED: How to Make a Dog Like You in 10 Easy Steps

5. Targeted Training Efforts

While clicker training works amazingly well for some dogs, others may require additional or other forms of training.

It's important to try different methods when working with a fearful dog to find what they're most comfortable with.

When a fearful dog does something bad, instead of punishing it, try to ignore them in an obvious manner.

Research has proven that the best method of training fearful dogs is to use positive reinforcement while ignoring bad or incorrect behaviors.

If you react in any way, they will perceive this as a reinforcement and ‘reward' (especially if they intend to get your attention). As a result, Fido will keep doing this unwanted behavior.

RELEVANT READ: Most Effective Dog Training Methods According to Science

6. Classical Conditioning Training

This training method refers to a psychological experiment named Pavlov’s Dogs, which was conducted by the famous physiologist Ivan Pavlov.

Pavlov discovered that dogs don't need to learn most things to thrive.

But, certain reflexes and responses are hard-wired in them.

In Pavlov's experiment, he attempted to measure the dog's saliva in reaction to feeding.

He accidentally noticed that his dogs began salivating even after hearing his lab assistant's footsteps as they approached the room.

The dogs knew that Pavlov's assistant carried their food, which triggered the same response.

With classical conditioning training, your dog learns to associate one thing with another.

When you're around, reward your dog with treats, pets, or praise for calm behavior.

You can reward them for simply seeing you with a happy, relaxed demeanor. Start by just being in the same room, then slowly get closer.

Pair your arrival with a happy greeting, treats, or their favorite toy.

Just be very calm and gentle in your movements and voice!

Eventually, your dog will learn that your presence predicts positive things.

7. Proper Dog Socialization

It's beneficial if another dog lives at home with you and your scared dog.

But even if you don't have another pooch living with you, proper socialization and exercise are vital for dogs with anxiety.

Going out for walks regularly or enrolling your Fido in a doggy daycare may slowly ignite their sociable personality.

8. Go Out Together and Explore

Going on hikes or walks in public places is a great start.

If your scared dog is too intimidated by the leash or the outside world, that's normal.

You can start by having playtime and running sessions in your backyard or trying fun indoor activities.

Plus, giving your Fido toys can be something they're interested in.

From plushies to interactive dog toys, be sure to pay attention to which they like and use it to play with them regularly.

9. More Playtime, Please!

Playing with a scared dog can be a difficult task.

But if you can engage a fearful dog in any play, it will be a great bonding and trust-building experience.

Take things slowly with a fearful dog to build their confidence in playing with you.

Start with low-pressure games where they control the interaction, like finding treats hidden around the house or gently tossing toys near them without reaching for the toy yourself.

Use high-value rewards consistently to reinforce any interaction with positive associations.

Keep sessions short at first and end on a calm note.

Allow them to approach you and the toy or game at their own pace without pressure.

Patience is key, as is maintaining a calm, relaxed energy to help the dog feel comfortable.

Over time, as they learn that play means only good things happen, their natural play drive will emerge, and they'll gain confidence that playing with you is safe and fun.

It's important to use their energy in physical activities rather than spend the entire day lying in bed.

10. Continue to Build Trust

Just because you see success in helping your scared dog become less fearful doesn't mean you can discontinue all of your efforts.

Doing so will likely reverse all the positive results your hard work with your scared dog has produced.

Be consistent in your training, play, and schedule routines.

Additionally, never let an aggressive adult, child, or dog play around your fearful dog.

Do it slowly when introducing your dog to new situations, experiences, and people to avoid aggression.

RELATED: Dogs and Kids: 17 Rules to Keep Kids and Dogs Safe

Important: Do Not Do This to Your Scared Dog!

While you want to make them feel comfortable as soon as possible, the key is to do so slowly but surely.

If your dog is scared of you, here are some things you should avoid doing around them:

• Do not make direct eye contact, as this can be seen as a challenge or threat to some dogs. Avoid staring at them.
• Do not reach toward their face or body abruptly, as this could seem like a potential attack. Slow, gentle movements are best.
• Do not corner the dog or block their potential escape routes. Give space, and don't crowd them.
• Do not use a loud, deep, or high-pitched tone of voice. Speak softly and calmly instead.
• Do not force physical contact or affection if the dog seems uncomfortable. Let the dog approach you first and learn to trust quickly.
• Do not make the dog feel restrained or trapped by leaning over them. Give space and freedom to move away.
• Do not punish or scold fearful behaviors, as this will likely only increase stress and inhibit training progress.

The key is to move, speak calmly, and give the fearful dog space, time, and positive experiences to build confidence in your presence.

Forced interactions will likely backfire.

My Dog Is Scared of Me: FAQs

If you are dealing with a situation like this, the following questions and answers can help you summarize the above information. 

How Do I Get My Dog Not to Be Scared of Me? 

To prevent your dog from being scared of you, avoid eye contact, stick to glances while petting him, use treats, and be patient. 

What Happens If Your Dog Is Scared of You? 

You can tell if your dog is scared of you by its body language. It may hide, cower, tremble, tuck in its tail, or pull its ears back. 

Why Is My Dog Scared of Me All of a Sudden? 

There are several reasons that your dog may suddenly get scared of you, including phobia.

Other possibilities include being sick, past abuse, a traumatic experience, and age-related issues. 

What Makes a Dog Scared of Everything? 

If a dog is scared of everything, there are several possible reasons why.

It can be from a lack of socialization, physical or emotional trauma, pain, abuse, neglect, phobia, or other causes. 

RELATED: Why Are Dogs Scared of Thunder?

My Dog Is Scared of Me: Before You Go…

How do I get my dog to trust me?

Give your dog plenty of time and space to start to trust you.

Use that time to learn about canine body language to read what it isn’t telling you.

Follow the above advice, such as giving your dog rewards for good behavior, playing together, and being patient.

So, if you enjoyed this blog, you might find the following recommendations, too!

READ NEXT: 

• How To Deal With Puppy Separation Anxiety
• Why Does My Dog Stink? 12 Reasons Why and What to Do
• 12 Best Dog Anxiety Medications: Over-the-Counter and Calming Supplements For Dogs